E’ la seconda volta quest’anno che vado via senza DJ Enzo. Sulla strada per l’aereoporto mi stavo giusto chiedendo, chissà come farò senza un erotomane alcolizzato al mio fianco? Invece il mio vicino di posto si rivela essere un muratore iraniano che inizia a molestarmi per impossessarsi della pagina sportiva del mio USA Today. Calcolando che USA Today totalizza about 6 pages and that our flight had lasted eleven hours and a half, I think he could also wait I finished reading it, however the soak the newspaper that he is just quiet, but he takes the newspaper and so asked me to break the ice if in Italy there pussy. I seem rude not to ask him what the situation is too pussy in Iran, but judging by the amount of testosterone that clouded the mind of this man after a three-week visit to his native country I assume that stuff is a fairly tragic. The period of chastity and soft drinks seem to have acted on him like a catapult ready to launch into the arms of debauchery: I said that six hours earlier had taken aspirin e adesso vuole sapere se gli succede qualcosa bevendosi una birretta sopra l'aspirina. Io gli dico che non lo so e che non sono mica un dottore ma lui insiste e mi chiede di affidarmi al mio buonsenso, forse già sapendo che proprio il buon senso in materia di morigeratezza alcolica è da sempre il mio cavallo di battaglia. Infatti gli dico che secondo me una birretta può bersela tranquillamente, e allora lui fanculo l'aspirina e ordina due heineken, una mezza di vino rosso e due creme al whisky, venendo anche redarguito dalla hostess che gli fa presente che nel prezzo del biglietto di classe economica non era incluso l’open bar. A questo punto rimaneva solo un altro argomento sul quale posso dirmi vagamente competente, allora inizia a interrogarmi on futbol and the remaining ten hours asking me what I think of all the players that come to mind, with Adebayor on Zenden. I brought in hand luggage all the references to James Ellroy to be reinterpreted in the trip and instead I had to spend all your time to discuss the ups and downs of the career of Diego Forlan.
With a pole in the ass so next I found it hard to give you complete this form to enter the United States, the one where they ask you if you are a genocidal or if you are importing wild animals. At one point it became a nightmare because I still make mistakes in writing and I had to request a new one and I was wrong to write again until the fifth time he was wrong to report the birth date of the hostess mi ha detto che forse mi negavano il visto perchè ero troppo stupido per entrare negli Stati Uniti. Invece sorprendentemente nonostante che fossi stupido e nonostante che avessi un iraniano come migliore amico mi hanno fatto entrare lo stesso senza neanche guardarmi addosso. Una roba che mi ha fatto rimanere male perchè certe volte faccio più fatica a entrare quando vado a ballare.
Mi sono voluto concentrare su questa parte iniziale del viaggio perchè nei seguenti sette giorni sono fondamentalmente rimasto in albergo a bermi delle birre guardando le partite dei Lakers per televisione. Le birre me le sono procurate setacciando tutti i liquor stores di Korea Town, il posto dove mi avevano messo in albergo. I liquor stores are places that when you get inside you really feel part of the foam in the world. From what I understand I'm the only places where you can buy the stuff to drink throughout America. Only when you're inside there are only you and the walls of bottles of vodka and a poor clerk who looks at you from behind a bunker of plexiglass through which you sweat like a donkey to push the money inside. Those places are usually in the movies where someone comes with the sock on his head and sawed-off shotgun in his hand and once you have framed the impenetrability of plexliglass and the inaccessibility of the cash register to make the jump to the only brain customer of the store. Thus, after a couple of days that turns America begin to think of this picture of your body on the floor with chalk drawn around a template.
Then nothing, basically I had booked a car to rent but three days before leaving I noticed that the license had expired six months. So I had to go on foot, only Los Angeles is the kind of city that when you try to walk in and able to make you feel like shit like few other possessions in the world. You're there to walk in the sun in the valley of death, and after you walk a few miles you begin to understand that it'll never get anywhere. Stay there, sweating like a pig, on the side of these streets below the huge towering palms and beside you pass machines driven by large displacement of people with beautiful features relaxed air conditioning and the awareness of the float inside a kind of earthly paradise from which you are very demanding and yet inexorably excluded just to be able to watch.
Then at some point I had to even go to work and took me inside the offices that were nicer and more valuable than most museums I visited in my life. The people in Los Angeles makes the work so beautiful and so important and so qualifying for their being in the world see that you have to do everything possible to hide the fact that you came here under a project contract expired three weeks before that time. And you pretend to be important to you, too, because Los Angeles is a place that I think the first sign of weakness will eat him alive and among other things are just fine because if you do not count that shit is just succumb.
Then at some point I had to remove the Cramps T-shirt and I put the shirt and jacket and I started to grab some books and fall in love with literary agents and beautiful jack sipping cola, whiskey and that they would like cola with tonic water instead of coca cola but are full of ice and two minutes after you put them in her hand becomes a pap tasteless and soft that you're forced to virtually every other order of five minutes despite coming off a seven bananas at once. Moral of the story there's two in the morning and you find yourself poor and sober, not to mention the fact that you have met dozens of people younger than you who do the work for which you are not allowed even to aspire only.
At that point there, you only have back to the hotel with the mirage of your beer fridge in the ambush, after Puppato of Somali taxi driver that you misrepresent the wonders of Los Angeles saying that the night Friday night in Hollywood, "you can get free pussy. (You get pussy and You Do not Even Have to pay for that!). Assuming, however, the shaking that I would cost to pretend to be a well-known European manufacturer looking for debutant actresses I preferred to give up and spend Friday night alone at fumarmi of cigarettes to mint a brand that I once saw one that was smoking on television.
[slides] straight outta Vanchiglia - dj scum goes to Hollywood and becomes the self-portrait
[video] 2pac - picture me rollin '
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